Friday, May 28, 2010

Adulation by Tiana Wilkins

I hate to give bad reviews.  I realize that authors put their heart and soul into their work and bad reviews can be hurtful.  As a general rule, I can find something good about a book and I tend to focus on that.  Every rule, however, was made to be broken.  I'll do my best to keep from an all out rant regarding this book, but after spending a few hours pacing the kitchen and inventing new swear words because the ones I knew just weren't cutting it, that may not be possible.  Tiana, my apologies, but I have to call it like I see it.

Plot:  Overdone!!!  We've all read Cinderella!  We get it!  There's a poor little girl whose daddy died and she's left with a horrible stepmother and two stepsisters.  I kept waiting for some new plot twist to pop up and keep me from throwing the book, but it didn't happen.  A stomache condition does not a plot twist make!

Characters:  Please can I kill them all myself?  The only character worth anything in the entire book is the math teacher.  Everyone else just annoyed the spit right out of me!  They're rude, selfish, spiteful and just flat out foolish.  That includes the main character.  Not one of them displayed common sense, let alone good sense.  I found myself screaming 'Who does that?!?!  Who???  What the *(^%^(*& is wrong with them???'

Editing:  YES PLEASE!!!  It took every ounce of self control I had not to break out the standard red pen, edit the darn thing myself, and send it right back!  I realize that editors can be costly and even then sometimes mistakes are missed.  The occasional mistake I can usually read around, but we're talking nearly every flippin' paragraph here!  Words used incorrectly!  'When' instead of 'went'!  Run on sentences!  Fragmented sentences!  Sentences that just made absolutely no sense no matter how many times I reread them!  Punctuation errors!  This is just the tip of the iceberg that sank this Titanic!

The icing on the proverbial cake for me was something that I've never seen an author do.  In fact, it's something I've not seen anyone do since elementary school.  Throughout the entire book, the tense changes.  We flip from past tense to present tense constantly.  Even within the same sentence!  I realize that not everyone is an English major and not everyone remembers all the grammar rules we learn in school.  I realize that not everyone goes to school.  However, IF YOU'RE GONNA WRITE A FLIPPIN' BOOK THEN GET A FOURTH GRADER TO TEACH YOU HOW!

I apologize for my rant.  This book is a reader's nightmare.  I'm actually angry that this book is sitting on store shelves where those that don't know any better can pick it up, read it, and think that it's acceptable writing.  Tiana:  Go back to the drawing board.  Pick a subject that's actually nearer to your heart.  Write what you know.  Invest in an editor.  It will make a world of difference.  Then send me your next book and I'll happily sing praises for your improvement.  In the meantime, this book is going in the recycle bin so that hopefully some day it can be made into something useful.

1 comment:

  1. Oh dear heavens above,somebody else feels the same way as I do about this book!! I got a copy to review as well, and I am still twitching and trying not to break out my own red pen! I'm hoping and praying Tiana is a YOUNG author (preferably mid-late teens) and not an adult who supposedly has at LEAST finished high school.

    At least you are apologetic in your review. I can't even bring myself to be that...

    ReplyDelete

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