Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Edgar Allen Poe is haunting me...

I walked outside to take a break.  Grass feels amazingly cool and smooth on bare feet.  Plus I'm an evil smoker.  As I step outside, I notice that my lawn is littered with huge black birds.  It's like somebody remade The Birds and left all of their props laying around.  Except...they're alive.  And as I walk onto the grass, they all swivel their heads to stare at me.  I look into their round, beady eyes and I know what they're thinking.  'Oooh!  I bet she's tasty!'  Well...darn right I am!  But I'm not worried!  I know they won't eat me because I'm stringy and birds don't like stringy!  Yeah...they eat worms..that's not the point.  In my brain, birds only eat rice.  Cooked rice.  Because I'm only semi-evil.    The birds are still outside in the yard.  I am not.  Because I'm not stupid.  Just in case birds really do like stringy.

Sir Edgar Allen Poe:  Whatever action I have committed that has caused me to incur your wrath, I apologize with all my heart!  I hereby vow to not write a review with a harsh word for 24 hours as penance!


*Note:  No reviews will be posted for the next 24 hours.

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