Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Give Me Your Opinion!!!

OK So, I have a writer friend.  Alright, I have several...that's not the point!  This specific writer friend has decided to go in a different direction with her books, but she's a little nervous because she hasn't done anything like this before.  She's agreed to let me put a snippet on my blog so that all of you can give her some serious feedback and let her know exactly what you think.  Please be honest!!! 

"Is it boiling yet?  We're on a tight schedule here!"
"No, not yet," Saber yelled back across the kitchen.
"Well hurry up!  We have a critic tonight.  He's impatient."
"And you're not?"  
Francois wiped his hands on his apron hastily and approached her.  "We need this soup done yesterday. Quit farting around and speed it up."
"If you wanted it done yesterday then you should have cooked it yesterday."
"Your attitude will get you into trouble one of these days, Steele.  Step aside and let me finish."
She did so, letting the head chef take over.  He looked into the pot and then turned to glare at her.  "You put onions in already?"
"Well...yeah."
"The onions have to go in after the water comes to a boil."
"They have to boil - so they'll boil."
"You can't put them in cold water!  It ruins the texture!  The entire base of the soup is ruined!"
"What the fuck difference does it make?  It's soup!  You know he'll hate it, anyway.  He always hates your food."
"You're fired.  Collect your things and get out."
"Whatever.  This job blows anyway."  She tossed her apron at the blustering Francois, landing it almost in the pot of water.  She grabbed her jacket off the peg in the back room and headed out the kitchen door.  "Your soup sucks, by the way!" She yelled as the door closed behind her.  Well, now she'd have to find another job.  Rent was due in a week.  
She let herself into her small apartment, threw her jacket on the floor, and flopped backward onto her bed.  Beside her, Warden, her cat, stretched lazily.  "Let me guess, he purred, "you lost another job."  His large eyes glowed orange in the semi darkness of the room.  His tabby coat, which he could change at will, was orange today.
"It sucked.  Francois is cranky and hard to please."
"What you mean is that you wouldn't listen.  As usual."
"What I mean is that he's an asshole and I'm glad I got fired.  I hated it there anyway.  It's hot and busy and everyone is rude."
Warden sighed.  "You realize rent is due in a week.  Also, I'm almost out of caviar."
Saber frowned at him.  "Why can't you just eat kibble like a normal cat?"
"Because I'm not a normal cat."
"I'll look for another job tomorrow.  Right now I just want a bath and--"
The tattoo on her right arm throbbed.  She looked at it, watching the rune ebb and fade with the throb.
"You want me to do what?" She yelled at it.  "No.  I refuse.  Dammit.  But...this is stup--...FINE!"
"So there you are.  You have another job," Warden smirked at her.
"You know I don't get paid for tracking down refugees.  It's part of my parole."
"Yes.  So who are we hunting this time?  Do we get to go anywhere fun?  Like Hawaii?"  He pawed at a loose thread on her bedspread.
"Colorado."
"Pfeh.  Why do all the refugees have to hide in the cold places?  I hate the cold."
"Hey.  All you have to do is provide a map.  I have to do all the hard stuff."
"And who are we hunting?  A murderer?  A serial killer?"
"Candy thief."
"A...what?"
"Someone has been stealing boxes of candy from a grocery store in Denver.  Come on, you know the drill.  Roll over."
Warden sighed indignantly.  "This is so humiliating."  He stretched out on his back, raising his paws above his head.  Saber pressed a button on his collar that projected a hologram on the cat's stomach.  She could see the fugitive's profile, complete with his physical description and why he was wanted.  Pressing another button projected a map.  She studied the streets of Denver, pinpointing the location of her prey.
"You know, with all their technology, couldn't they just think of a better way to do this?"
"Quit complaining.  All you have to do is stretch out for belly rubs and eat caviar all day.  I'm the one that has to hunt down criminals."
"So what are we to do with the candy thief once we catch him?"
"He's to be killed on site."
"Killed?  For stealing candy?
"No.  He's to be shot for hiding drugs in the candy boxes."
"Ah.  Are we leaving right away?" Warden stretched his limbs while Saber laced up her boots.
"Yep."
"But I'm hungry."

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I really enjoyed the whole feel of this wonderful glimpse into a much bigger story. The dialogue between both Saber and Warden was very engaging and humorous. All in all, I'd have to say, I imagine this would be a very fun and thrilling read. Also, there appears to be enough snarkiness to hold anyones full attention... which it always wondrous. Awesome job!!!

    jkb

    ReplyDelete

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